What Does It Mean to Be a Dad?

Dad. Father. Daddy. Papa. There are many words used to describe a dad. Everyone has their own experience with dads, whether good or bad. A dad is not always the person who helped give you life; other times it is. The concept of dads and fatherhood can be hard to nail down. Everyone’s experiences are so diverse. My experiences with dads has been generally positive. My own dad and my husband are the ones who have left the biggest impression on me about fatherhood.  

From a very young age, I remember being a daddy’s girl. My mom worked full time; my dad worked part time and was the main caregiver, giving me the opportunity to spend a lot of time with him. We were very close and I felt like I could talk to him about anything. As an adult, I still greatly value my relationship with my dad. I feel like I can go to him for advice and support. He is also a wonderful grandfather to my little Nini.

 Picture on left: My dad and I dancing when I was little

Picture on right: My dad and I dancing on my wedding day

My husband, Ryan, is a great daddy to our almost two-year-old. He will get on the floor and play, as well as do the hard stuff, like caring for Nini when she is sick. I can see what kind of dad Ryan is when Nini exclaims, “Daddy!” when he gets home from work, and she starts bouncing from excitement. 

Ryan and Nini on a camping trip

But what exactly is a dad? What purpose does a dad serve? What does it mean?

Well to help me answer this, I reached out to a few dads and asked them this question: 

What does it mean to be a dad? 

Here are the answers I received: 

"It means experiencing the excitement and pure joy at the birth of each of my children. It means loving someone more than yourself. It means enjoying and guiding my children through each stage of development and seeing the many changes. It means having a wonderful journey with my children throughout life. It means appreciating the challenging times of being a parent. It means rejoicing with my children for their achievements."

-Roger (my dad)

“To be a dad means always being there for your kids. Take interest in what they are doing, even if it doesn’t interest you. Be excited when they achieve something they are proud of, and be there for them when they fail.”

-Ryan (my husband)

"Being a dad means never giving up, always making time, and trying to remember to brush teeth."

-Andrew

“Being a dad to me means that you have a responsibility and an opportunity to provide unconditional love to your children.  You need to always be approachable and keep the lines of communication open with your children so that they feel comfortable in coming to you and sharing whatever challenges they are dealing with. Being a dad means that you have a responsibility to teach your children to be good citizens and to treat others as the Savior would, and as they would want to be treated. Help them in obtaining their education and encourage them to further that education. Support them in all of their activities. Teach them the Gospel of Jesus Christ and live it yourself, teaching and leading by example.”

-Vyrl

 “I think this is an ongoing journey that I have been on for the last twelve years. I'm still trying to figure it out. To be a dad is to provide, to teach, to love, to push, and to challenge children. To be a dad is to teach kids that it’s okay to risk and put yourself out there, that it’s okay to be silly and have fun. I'm here to protect and love and to be their foundation. My job is to help them become independent and to be able to fly through life on their own.”

-Bob

After seeing these answers to the question, “What does it mean to be a dad?” I can see the importance these men place in this role. I feel ill equipped to answer this question myself; I am not a dad and never will be. However, if I had to answer, I would say the answer is love. Being a dad means to love. 

So how would you answer the question:

What does it mean to be a dad?

Let me know in the comments. 

The 3 B’s: Books, Blocks, and Bubbles

Entertaining babies and toddlers can be hard. I’ve had times while interacting with kids where I think to myself, “What the heck should we do?” Between sleeping and meals, there’s definitely going to be down time. And there’s only so many ways you can be creative. I’m going to introduce you to my secret weapon for boredom, The 3 B’s: books, blocks, and bubbles. Each of these activities are simple, stimulating, and have the potential to entertain for a while. I have found The 3 B’s useful with one child and in groups of up to twelve kids. So let’s talk about each of the 3 B’s.

The First B: Books

I can’t say enough good things about books for young kids! Reading books to babies and toddlers helps with literacy down the road. The variety of color and pictures in books make them a great sensory object, especially books like “Baby Touch and Feel: Puppies and Kittens.” It doesn’t seem like people think of children’s books as toys, but so much fun can be had with them. Kiddos can flip through the pages on their own or it can be used as a bonding experience between caregiver and child.  

In group settings, I like to put a few books on the floor so little ones can explore the books themselves. I then sit on the floor with them to read and show pictures in the books. It works great to focus a group of young children. 

If you need help figuring out good books for babies and toddlers, I like “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and “I’m a Dingle Dangle Scarecrow.” Both books are engaging with simple words. Plus they’re just super cute!

The Second B: Blocks

Blocks are a great way to spark the imagination. A child can make anything with blocks, even a rocket ship to the moon! They are a great creative outlet. It’s important to start encouraging imaginative play; this is how a young child learns. They also help in various areas of development. Blocks that can connect together, like Mega Bloks, are wonderful for problem solving skills. The ability to stack blocks is important in development for reasoning and motor (moving) skills. Picking up blocks can improve motor skills by utilizing arms, hands, and fingers. Blocks in almost any size or form are awesome for young kids so be sure to have some on hand. 

The Third B: Bubbles

Bubbles are a simple and fun way to entertain kids. While working with infants, there were times where I could have up to eight very fussy babies and no backup. My saving grace—bubbles. I started blowing bubbles and crying would settle down. For a few minutes, all little eyes would be fixed on the bubbles, mesmerized. 

I haven’t met a kid who doesn’t love bubbles. They are enjoyable for all ages. Very young infants can become fixated on the bubbles as you blow them. Toddlers and bigger kids giggle with excitement trying to pop them. Letting kids blow a few bubbles themselves can be fun too. Plus bubbles are a great and inexpensive sensory activity. So get to blowing some bubbles!  

 

So there’s my easy go-to activities to fight boredom with young kids, The 3 B’s: books, blocks, and bubbles. What activities do you use to entertain your baby or toddler? Share with me in the comments!

This post contains affiliate links.

My Bag of Tricks for Getting Babies to Sleep

There’s nothing sweeter than a sleeping baby. But what if baby won’t sleep? It can be so frustrating! Especially if you could use that sleep time to get things done or some much needed rest yourself. Well, between my professional childcare career and mommyhood, I’ve picked up a few tricks about how to get little ones to sleep. I’d like to share what I’ve learned with you. These ideas are not fool proof, but they are a good place to start.

1. Feeding

This may be an obvious one, but you might not think of feeding in those late sleepless nights. There’s nothing like a full tummy to ease a baby to sleep. Whether formula or breastmilk, feeding a baby right before putting him/her down might just get the job done. But make sure you are watching your baby’s cues. I have seen parents continually try to feed a baby who clearly does not want it, simply because it’s part of their usual routine. If the baby continually pushes the milk away or cries, do not push it. Time to try something else. 

2. Swaddle

I’m a big fan of swaddling, and not just for newborns. I’ve worked in a daycare-like setting where lights were bright and there was a lot of noise. It’s pretty hard to put a baby to sleep in that situation. However, I have learned that swaddling can help drown out other distractions and give the baby a sense of comfort. Some babies prefer to keep their arms in the swaddle, others don’t; just watch your baby’s cues to know for sure. It is likely the safer option to keep your child’s hands out of the swaddle as they grow. I’ve generally found babies will let you know they are growing out of the swaddling phase when they stretch out more or push their blanket away when you swaddle them. Older babies can generally get themselves out of a swaddle, so keep this in mind when making the decision to swaddle. 

A few notes about swaddling:

• After a child is out of the newborn stage and they prefer to stretch out, do not swaddle their legs up in the fetal position.

• If you do decide to swaddle an older baby, make sure you don’t include the bottom of the blanket where their legs hang down as part of the swaddle. It may impact their growth. I would say to stop doing this around 6 months old, possibly earlier. Instead, just wrap two sides of the blanket around the torso to swaddle.

•While I like the swaddling, it’s not for everyone. Keeping your child safe and doing what’s right for you is the most important thing. Do your own research, talk to your pediatrician, and decide for yourself. 

Here’s a video of how to swaddle from Naturally Thrifty Mom:
 

3. Sing

I have always sung to my daughter, Nini, for naps and bedtime, Now she is a toddler, she enjoys singing along with me. It has become a source of bonding for us. 

You may or may not like singing, but your child will love it. The sound of your voice can be very soothing. Song choice isn’t a big deal, as long as it’s slow and soft.

4. Rocking

Rocking is a great way to get your little one to sleep. That steady motion and close proximity is very soothing for a baby. But I would suggest sitting while rocking a child, rather than standing. As a baby gets older and heavier, it becomes more uncomfortable to stand. Make a habit of sitting while rocking. Your arms will thank you later, trust me!

5. Patting

Patting is along the same lines as rocking. Give your baby a gentle, rhythmic pat on his/her back or bum and watch the magic happen. Your child will likely calm down and drift off to sleep. And the upside to patting is it can be easier than rocking, especially if you don’t have a rocking chair handy. An extra tip, if baby is really struggling, patting the bum and back at the same time can do wonders!

6. White noise

If you haven’t heard of “white noise,” I define it as soft, even, background sounds. White noise is very comforting for baby. There’s a few ways you can produce white noise for your little one. You can get a machine that simulates white noise. Another option is to make the sound yourself by buzzing or humming. 

7. Stroke face

Some babies love the feeling of their face being stroked. I’ve seen this work wonders. An upset baby can become calm very quickly if they enjoy it. If your child is not a fan of having his/her face stroked, you’ll know pretty quickly; move on to the next idea. 

8. Hold tight

If all else fails, try “fighting it out” with your baby. Hold him/her tight and close to your body. The baby will likely cry and possibly struggle a bit until he/she falls asleep. Be cautious with this trick, however. Make sure the baby can breathe and you are not hurting them. Just read your baby’s cues. I also suggest when holding the baby tight, you use one of the other ideas on this list at the same time.

I hope this gives you some good pointers about getting your baby to sleep. I encourage you to make your child’s sleeping routine as easy on yourself as possible. I suggest only using methods you will be willing to continue as the baby grows. Another tip, if one of these tricks doesn’t work, try doing a few at the same time. I have been known to hum, rock, and pat together. I hope this helps. Good luck!  

What tricks or tips do you have for getting baby to sleep? Let me know in the comments!

This post contains a few affiliate links.

8 Infant and Toddler Developmental Milestones You May Not Have Noticed

Child development is exciting! Watching your child grow and do new things is one of the best parts of parenting.  We all know to look for the big stuff: crawling, walking, talking, and going potty. But have you ever stopped to think about just how many exciting developments your little one will have?  Kids learn new things every single day. Their young brains are making more new connections than we can imagine. It’s easy to miss new developmental milestones if you don’t know what to look for. I’m going to share a few milestones I’ve seen in kids that may not be as obvious.

1. Babbling back and forth

Babies babble and it’s so cute! Babbling is an exciting step because it’s one of the first noticeable signs of language development. When I talk to babies and they “talk back,” it shows they are learning the “back and forth” of conversation.

2. Holding bottle or other objects to mouth

The first time my daughter held her own bottle to her mouth, I got so excited. I took pictures and told my husband to come see. The reason I lost my mind over this is because holding a bottle is kind of a big deal. This shows a child has the muscle strength to hold a dense object like a bottle. It also displays a baby’s hand-to-mouth coordination, a very important skill for down the road. Many children do not use a bottle because they are breastfed or other factors. I believe the same idea can be applied to a child holding another object to their mouth, such as a binky or toy. 

3. First sign

I know not all children learn sign language. If you do decide to teach your child some signs, it can be effective in early communication. Kids usually use sign earlier than verbal speech. Seeing your little one use that first sign is so fun. Plus, I’ve observed when babies know a few signs, they won’t always go straight to crying, since they can let you know what they want through sign language. 

4. Pincer grasp

Pincer grasp is when a child is able to hold a small object between their thumb and index finger. This ability often forms when a child starts to eat solid foods, like puffs or Cheerios. Pincer grasp is subtle, but watch for it. It’s a key fine motor skill, meaning the smaller, more precise movements. Pincer grasp will lead to self-feeding, coloring, and eventually writing.    

5. Recognizing his/her own reflection

I enjoy noticing babies look in a mirror and see a certain spark in their eye and a big smile come across their face. Not only is this an adorable moment, it’s also an important one. A baby looking at themselves in the mirror in this way is a sign they have developed a sense of self. Small infants don’t have a true concept of “self.” However, as the baby grows, their brains make the connection that, “Yes, I am a person.” When a baby recognizes their own reflection, it means they’ve crossed the threshold into self-identity. 

6. Scaling

Scaling is when a child uses furniture or other objects to pull themselves along while in a standing position. The child will move their feet with their hands in a coordinated effort. It seems like many parents find scaling exciting because it is a sign that walking will come next. Scaling is a thrilling development on its own, as well. It takes some major coordination and muscle strength to pull it off. So, when you see your child scaling, praise the heck out of it. It’s awesome! 

7. Looking back at parent/caregiver during play

Older infants and toddlers tend to have a pretty established secure attachment by this age. When your child is playing or in a new environment, you may notice he or she look back at you or come over to you briefly, then go back to their activity. This is a big one because it shows the child has a pretty good balance. They are “feeling out” their independence, but still turn to you for safety and love. So, if you see this, high five to you! You’re doing great and your child likely has a healthy attachment. If you do not see this, don’t panic. There could be a number of reasons why. Just keep giving your love.

8. Tantrums

You may be rolling your eyes at this one, but hear me out. As frustrating and difficult as tantrums can be, they are an important developmental milestone. Remember when I talked about self-identity? Tantrums are an extension of that. It means the child is not only learning they have an identity, but they have a will. A child wants to express their own desires, thoughts, feelings, and make decisions. The problem is a child this young does not have the life experience or complex communication skills to handle this new sense of will. Now I’m not saying you have to cheer or praise your child when they throw a tantrum. Just keep in mind tantrums are a normal part of development. 

I hope this gives you a better understanding of the lesser known developmental milestones. Now I’d love to hear from you. Are there any other developments in babies and toddlers you’ve seen that I haven’t pointed out? Let me know in the comments.